Lesson 7

Extensions: Proactive Language
Handout

Scenario A
You overhear your best friend bad-mouthing you in front of a group. She doesn't know you overheard the conversation. Just five minutes ago, this same friend was sweet-talking you to your face. You feel hurt and betrayed.
If you were reactive, what might you say?
"We are not friends anymore."
If you were proactive, what would you say?
"Wow. That's great. You guys are talking about how awesome I am!"

Scenario B
Your mother has grounded you for the rest of the month because you didn't come home from a friend's sleep-over party by the time you said you would. You feel hurt, not only because she doesn't seem to be listening to your reasons for being late, but also because she hasn't really been around for you to talk to much lately.

If you were reactive, what might you say?
"You don't even care about me!"
If you were proactive, what would you say?
"Okay. Calm down and we should talk."

It's not what happens to you in life, it's what you do about it. -W. Mitchell


Family Reflections
LESSON 7: Listen this week as a family, and catch each other using reactive language. Be proactive! Talk the talk of someone with self-control.
used reactive language:
I can't do it.
I suck.
It's not fair.